LAUGH
It’s no secret that this has been a true nightmare of a year. And as we finish the final days of pandemic teaching, there is no one more perfect than our friends from New Girl to express exactly how we’re feeling.
1. When you’re asked to reflect on the year
Yes, we made it through impossible circumstances and still taught/persevered/survived. But was it a good year? Absolutely not.
2. When an administrator starts a sentence with, “If we’re still wearing masks in the fall…”
One full school year of this is enough, and the thought of continuing to teach during a pandemic makes us want to explode.
3. When admin compliments your behavior management in these “unprecedented times”
As always, teaching remains a profession that rewards the most competent workers with…more work. So if someone notices that you’ve done well in this trainwreck of a year, get ready for the extra responsibilities that are about to be thrown your way.
4. When you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror after a hot day of teaching in a mask
Look, mask-teaching has been unpleasant all year. But now that we’ve added humidity to the equation, we end every single day looking like we spritzed our faces with olive oil and forgot to wipe it off.
5. When the virtual kid says they can’t hear what the in-person kid is saying
At this point, we’re no longer in learning mode–we’re in survival mode. It’s time for everyone to embrace the fact that we all just need to be present for a few more days.
6. When your kids magically forget that social distancing is still a thing
For some reason, kids are like magnets who feel the uncontrollable need to touch each other. All the time. And after a whole year of “social distancing,” they’re still convinced that they can be touching while also being six feet apart.
7. When the kids’ behavior becomes a new level of appalling
In addition to forgetting how to social distance, the kids have also forgotten how to act like human beings. Which leaves us feeling more like lion tamers than teachers.
8. When students ask how to raise their grades after submitting nothing for an entire year
We expect these last-minute Hail Marys every June, but this year, there’s an added twist. Some of these requests are coming from students who we haven’t really met, and whose names we barely recognize.
9. When anyone asks if you’re sad that the year is ending
Short answer: No. Long answer: This year has been the worst, and all we can think about is laying in a dark room for at least seven days straight without thinking/talking/moving/showering.
10. When you remember that your workload tripled and your salary…didn’t
Of course, we were always thrilled to receive emails reminding us to “focus on our mental health.” But for some reason, our banks didn’t add more money to our accounts when we showed them those reminders…
11. When someone asks you to teach summer school
We want to spend exactly zero extra seconds of our lives pandemic teaching. So we will politely decline this offer of our nightmares.
12. When you realize you miscounted and have more school days left than you thought
If you’re going to count down the last days of school, make sure you do it carefully. Because there is nothing more disappointing than having the soul-crushing realization that summer starts two days later than you thought.
13. When you dream about logging off of that final Zoom meeting
We used to have real goals. Hopes. Aspirations. But now we can only fantasize about giving our students one final awkward wave and logging out of Zoom FOREVER.
14. When you know that Teacher Appreciation Week should be turned into Teacher Appreciation Summer
The fact that we made it to the end of the year without quitting and/or going insane is truly remarkable. Honestly, if you want to make yourself a trophy, you should go for it with absolutely no shame.
Teachers, it’s happening. We didn’t think it was possible, but the year is almost over. So get ready to end your final day and SPRINT as far away from school as you possibly can.
Come connect with other educators in our #TeacherLife group!
