LAUGH
There are a million thoughts that go through a teacher’s mind every day, and most of them can’t be said out loud. No other profession has to censor itself quite like educators. Here’s just a brief list of a few of the things teachers think on a daily basis, but for one reason or another can’t actually say out loud.
Stop bombarding me with emails!
How much information can one human being absorb? Honestly. Can’t admin just send a Cliff’s Notes version?
Dear parent, could you maybe try parenting?
Teachers get yelled at a lot by parents, mostly telling us how to do our jobs. Unfortunately, we’re not allowed to reciprocate… but wouldn’t it be nice?
This meeting should have been an email.
Face it, most faculty meetings take about an hour but only contain 3-4 minutes of actual important or interesting information.
I don’t like wearing masks either.
Teachers have to remind students 75 million times a week to put their masks on and wear them correctly, but deep down we get it. Wearing them isn’t fun.
Let’s play a fun game called “Read the instructions.”
Seriously, why do we even bother writing instructions? You can print them in 200-pt font in huge block letters, you can read them out loud or shout them through a megaphone and students still won’t follow them.
Yes you can go to the bathroom… and please take your time
There’s always one student that asks to use the bathroom but they don’t really need to do, they just want a break. Confession time: sometimes we want a break too.
Is this a classroom or an oil painting?
Sometimes teaching is like standing in front of the Mona Lisa and waiting for her to answer you back.
Is this assignment being graded? No, I spent hours creating it out of sheer boredom.
Do students think we give them assignments as punishment or something? This is still a place of learning isn’t it?
Stop asking questions during faculty meetings!
That one faculty member that always needs to ask question after question during every… single… meeting. They are the reason our blood pressure is as high as it is.
It stinks in here.
Kids need to be aware of their aromas – especially after recess (or bean burrito day in the cafeteria).
This test isn’t as important as other people tell you it is.
Maybe “test anxiety” wouldn’t exist if we stopped telling children these standardized tests are the most important things in the world.
Could you please just cooperate while I’m getting observed?
Once that administrator walks into your room, you’re at the mercy of your students. Hopefully they’ll take pity on you and remember how much is riding on this observation.
They don’t pay me enough for this.
If teachers were paid anywhere close to what we deserve, we wouldn’t buy so many lottery tickets.
%&@#
I don’t care who you are, you’re not a real teacher until you’ve come very close to muttering a forbidden four-letter word out of sheer anger/stress/anxiety.
I’ll grade these tests when I’m good and ready.
Students will take eight weeks to complete an assignment, but want it graded and added to the gradebook in five minutes. Grading happens when it happens.
What the heck am I doing here?
How many times have you gone to fill out your objectives and EQ’s on the board and realized you weren’t quite sure what you were doing?
You guys are lucky you’re not my actual children.
My teacher face is nothing compared to my parent face.
I’m just as excited to go on vacation as you all are.
Kids think all teachers just live at school. Many are surprised to find that we too have lives and desire to enjoy time off.
I quit!
Everybody has their breaking point, and these days teachers hit theirs every 20 minutes or so. We may think it, but you know we’re coming back tomorrow ready for another day full of challenges.
Come join us in the #teacherlife community for more great conversations!
